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And . . . They're Off! - demotivational poster

A fellow was at the horse races and all but losing his shirt. He notices a priest that steps out onto the track and blesses one of the horses by a kiss to it's forehead. Lo and behold, the horse, a long shot, won the race. The next race, the priest once again blesses yet another long shot and it wins. Seeing this, the man bets on each horse that the priest blesses and wins each race all day. Finally, the last race of the day, the priest walks onto the track and blesses the longest shot of the day with a kiss to it's forehead, ears and nose. Seeing this the man runs to bet all his winnings. He watched dumbfounded as the old nag came in last. In a state of shock, he approaches the priest and asks "Father, what happened? All day long you bless the long shots and they win. I bet everything on the last race and the horse lost by a mile!" The priest replies "Son, that's the problem with you Protestants, you can't tell the difference between a simple blessing and the last rites!"

TAGS: horse races bets winnings blessings priest rites

demotivational poster And . . . They're Off!
MissPriss  #176844 Created February 3, 2015



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last wish - demotivational poster

TAGS: anything your heart desires

demotivational poster last wish
GaryO  #176843 Created February 3, 2015



thecrotchetyoldcynic - October 24, 2015, 10:17 am
GaryO - February 8, 2015, 8:26 am
Thanks sir UG and Mizz
ughomer - February 7, 2015, 12:46 pm
mizzdizz - February 7, 2015, 2:54 am
Sick and twisted!! Luv it! My stomach goes in the teacups, heart in the tiki room, legs on top of the mattahorn, foot in the door, head up tinkerbell's asterisk! 5 laughing Lions!
GaryO - February 5, 2015, 7:14 pm
Thanx guys
concern3 - February 5, 2015, 4:53 am
Nicely done GaryO, Defiantly a 5er, the comments VERY FUNNY are also a 5er
spacedog - February 4, 2015, 6:46 pm
Nicely done. It would take a bigger man than I though, it's a small world after all.
GaryO - February 4, 2015, 6:18 pm
Thank ya, ladies. Now about that offer. Just a corner of the porch…and a bowl…big bowl. Dry or wet? Does yer back yard need fertilizing? Do you have a high tolerance for self licking?
lgvernon - February 4, 2015, 1:52 pm

I LOLOLOLOLOLOLed and read this aloud. My husbing says you'd fit right in around here. No, you may not have the spare room. 5LLLLLs
MissPriss - February 4, 2015, 12:14 am
Make sure your remains are immunized for measles 1st...5L Mr. Gary!
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ETYMOLOGY - demotivational poster

ETYMOLOGY: The origin of words. Because knowing how words were invented makes you smart. Amaze your friends! Have fun at parties! Safety of participants cannot be guaranteed. Visual aids not included.

TAGS: word origin humor poster

demotivational poster ETYMOLOGY
lgvernon  #176808 Created January 30, 2015



Silverheart - July 21, 2017, 7:08 pm

Fun with words! I lol'd
lgvernon - January 30, 2015, 10:56 pm

Smart girl.
rerun - January 30, 2015, 8:01 pm

My visual aids refuses to come to those parties with me.
lgvernon - January 30, 2015, 7:45 pm

Did you read the description text? You'll laugh. I promise!
Oldsod - January 30, 2015, 7:14 pm
That is amazing...5 L-Cups!
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VITAL STATISTICS - demotivational poster

Studies have shown that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

TAGS: candor silence advice humor

demotivational poster VITAL STATISTICS
lgvernon  #176757 Created January 21, 2015



Thedewd - October 20, 2017, 5:46 am
Two questions, if a guy is asked by his wife/girlfriend the answer should be an immediate NO! if he wants to live. 1. Do I look fat? 2. Is she prettier than me?
ughomer - January 24, 2015, 6:38 am
Genius, LG! 5L for this one.
lgvernon - January 23, 2015, 12:27 am

I'm'unna tell her you said that...
rerun - January 22, 2015, 7:27 pm

My wife carries an extra 220 pounds, just a few times a week if I'm lucky.
GaryO - January 22, 2015, 3:29 pm
somebody needs a nap
lgvernon - January 22, 2015, 12:47 pm

Shaddup, GAryO. You're only alive because it's too d*** far for me to walk from Wyoming to the West Coast. I love this painting. If you were here, I'd feed it to you, one canvas bite at a time.
GaryO - January 22, 2015, 8:40 am
Heard one sing once. Mentioned that 'for a big girl, she sure could belt out a tune...then it hit me.
MissPriss - January 22, 2015, 12:55 am
5Love it!
mizzdizz - January 21, 2015, 9:38 pm
Too true!! 5L
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IT'S SO COLD OUT - demotivational poster

My hot flashes are starting to feel good

TAGS: weather

demotivational poster IT'S SO COLD OUT
concern3  #176663 Created January 12, 2015



MissPriss - January 12, 2015, 10:06 pm
So SHE'S the one responsible for global warming???
mizzdizz - January 12, 2015, 4:24 pm
Concern, you have once again made me choke on my coffee! 5 choking coffee sprayed lions!
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