epic fail
military funny
stupid human

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Send these bastards back to Hell We'll teach them the ways of war And they won't come here anymore

Creator: Titus Pullo

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Doc - January 15, 2009, 7:19 am,
Works as well for the present as for the Posleen War.
Titus Pullo - January 15, 2009, 10:08 am,
Thank you Doc!
WTFO - January 25, 2009, 12:37 am,
Right on, TP.
HurHur... - January 26, 2009, 4:26 pm,
Americans: Handing out medals for polishing boots and turning up in the mornings since their capital got burnt by the British 3rd reserve army.
LogicDude - January 26, 2009, 4:36 pm,
Timmy-Hur is obviously not up on the fact that the military now wears boots which you don't polish. Less work for our medals that way.
Porcelina - January 26, 2009, 4:36 pm,
Americans: Hated until someone needs our a**es.
WTFO - January 27, 2009, 1:47 am,
Well said (written, actually), Porc.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:08 pm,
Americans: Refusing to help sort out a maniac who could threaten millions untill Japanese blow up their Pacific shipyard. Then charge the earth to a tiny country they should have been helping in the first place. 'Scuse me for being cynical and all...
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:31 pm,
HurHur... - You can be as cynical as you like because Americans died to give you that right. When we did it, why we did it, and how we did it, really doesn't matter. You're entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong you are.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:37 pm,
Weell...thankee kindlee sir *doffs cap* but I think on a website based on the premis of twisted motivation, American a**istance in WW2 is a very fitting topic. Americans died, true, but if that were so important, mankind owes the French more than you.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:41 pm,
The only thing we now owe the French is a thank you for Bridget Bardo and for giving us a place to stage our war games of 1944.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:45 pm,
True, the French haven't exactly helped themselves recently, but I shall return to the topic of medals. Come on, even you guys joke about how easy US medals are to get! Plus, IllogicDude didn't refute the 'turning up in the mornings' medal... :P
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:46 pm,
Oh yeah...I almost forgot...a great big "merci beaucoup" for the Statue of Liberty. That was a really nice gesture.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:47 pm,
OK...I'll give you that. I've always called them "Thanks for coming" ribbons. But the medals pictured above take a bit more effort.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:49 pm,
Don't forget french fries... even though they have been renamed in a certain on-topic country...
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:49 pm,
Just out of interest, what are those particular ones, if you happen to know?
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:49 pm,
Hey...they French gave us something else appropriate to this conversation. I'm sure I'll misquote him but, I think Napolean said. "Give me a box of medals and I can lead men anywhere."
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:51 pm,
The same would hold true for chocolates and women...
Culos - January 28, 2009, 2:51 pm,
You can forget French Fries, in France les frites are chunky and 4 times the size of your French Fries. But don't forget the blessings of garlic, hairy armpits, BO, frogs legs and arrogance.....
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:52 pm,
The star with blue ribbon is America's highest medal, The Medal of Honor, and the gold one I believe isn't a medal at all it's the insignia worn by our Navy Seals.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:53 pm,
My favorite fries still come from McDonalds.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:54 pm,
Awwhaaw-haaw-haaaaw...don't forget the laugh...the berets...Jaques Chirac and selling weapons to terrorists...
Culos - January 28, 2009, 2:54 pm,
And for some reason McDonalds does not sound very French to me....
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:55 pm,
Yeah...I wonder where the "French fry" originated.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:56 pm,
Sorry, in my opinion BK fries top McD's...chunkier and less dripping in fat. *pats tummy* Oh and they come with BK burgers...can't forget that...PS, thanks for the medals info, Ok the Medal of Honour I'll leave alone, it's a good'un. Like the VC.
Culos - January 28, 2009, 2:57 pm,
French Fry??? Hmm, sounds toi me like Jeanne D'Arc (Joan of Arc) being burned by the Brits.....but I can be wrong of course
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 2:59 pm,
Apparently Belgium seems to be the recognised source of french fries.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 2:59 pm,
Mark serves up a slow hanging curve ball and Culos hits it out of the park!
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:02 pm,
HurHur... I totally disagree about the BK fries and Wikipedia says that the origin is undetermined. It is after all just a fried potato. Now Potato chips however is a different story. The good ol' USofA can lay claim to them.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:03 pm,
It's great...a topic about fighting the enemies of the US has turned into a discussion about WW2, french fries and now baseball. THE HUMANITY!
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:05 pm,
Isn't it great that we can all come together here at Motifake and rationally sort out the problems of the world?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:05 pm,
And you sir, may have them, I prefer biscuits anyway. Not cookies... biscuits. much better for dunking in milk. Also flicking wet crumbs at people is highly entertaining.
ELLIBELLS - January 28, 2009, 3:06 pm,
Isnt it just
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:08 pm,
Sweetheart...I should have expected this...our discussion is being monitored by someone I am also talking to via the marvel of the INTERNETS!
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:08 pm,
OK...go ahead and educate me. I thought that a biscuit was a cookie on that side of the pond.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:09 pm,
I can't help it Im highly entrtained by it
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:09 pm,
I'd post links...but I'm not sure it's allowed...
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:11 pm,
Ellibells - Feel free to jump in anytime. The more the merrier.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:11 pm,
cookie , biscuit who cares if there chocolate in it I'll eat it
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:12 pm,
oh and excuse my typing my fingers are knackered
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:13 pm,
There's something we can credit the Belgians with...chocolate. They make the best.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:13 pm,
what about the Swiss
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:14 pm,
No problem with links, go ahead. Furthermore Chocolate is Belgium, so are the fries. Cookies are on your hard disk, Biccies (Biscuits) are from France
HurHur - January 28, 2009, 3:14 pm,
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:15 pm,
d***! You got me there. I thought I had the definitive answer and you had to throw in another possibilty. I'm going to have to study this problem further.
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:16 pm,
The Swiss are neutral as usual. They'll steal ideas and products from anyone
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:16 pm,
Practical study is my favourite *noms on biccies in milk*
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:16 pm,
Swiss chocolate is mighty fine.. have you never tried Lindor... OMG its loooooooooovely
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:17 pm,
HurHur - I looked at your jpg and they look like cookies to me. I guess we're seperated by that common language again.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:18 pm,
Fine... Cookies:
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:18 pm,
I thought about join the Swiss Army just to get one of those cool knives.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:19 pm,
Ah of God's greatest creations...the chocolate chip cookie.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:19 pm,
Back to military... the knives are rather poor quality, the blades that is. If you get one, it's for just about anything BUT the blade(s).
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:20 pm,
I guess the best biscuit is Seabiscuit but it keeps running away from me....
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:20 pm, you see the difference between what we call cookies and biscuits, I take it they all come under one universal heading in america then?
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:20 pm,
I think main difference is that COOKIES are kinda soft in the middle whereas biscuits are crunchy right through... I dont know it's an observation
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:21 pm,
Getting back to an earlier conversation, did you ever wonder why Hitler never invaded Switzerland?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:21 pm,
Best horse name I've heard in ages... H2WHOAH!
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:21 pm,
The Swiss Tourist Trap knives are poor but if you're willing to spend real money they have knives that rock...Only problem is to find a blade between al those d*** tools they add....
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
Hitler chose not to bother Switzerland because that's where he kept his loot...
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
because they never took sides?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
What...and attack where he kept all the money to fund his military campaigns? Even he wasn't THAT insane. Imagine the rate of interest he was getting. If he invaded switzerland they'd surely stop paying interest.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
We have crunchy cookies too. I think that our cookies and your biscuits are pretty much the same thing.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
yeah that is a good name for a horse
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:23 pm,
You don't want to upset your banker do you? They might have fore-closed on the SOB :-)
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:24 pm,
Another thing...people have tried to take Switzerland before... and there's a very good reason they haven't, besides the money. It's surrounded by mountains...very easy to defend, not so easy to a**ault.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:24 pm,
well Millies have got thier cookies all wrong then theyre only half baked
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:25 pm,
Yeah but if he invaded them he could have had everyone's money / gold / treasure. I don't think he really cared if they were neutral or not.
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:25 pm,
Yeah but if their soldier is ill they're up **** creek
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:27 pm,
HurHur - that may have been true a long time ago but with modern weapons of war and airborne troops I don't think those Alps would have presented much of a problem.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:27 pm,
Thing is Switzerland made d*** sure it was more profitable to everybody else if they were allowed to remain neutral. There are some devious, scheming minds in that country. They'd need them, making those fancy clocks all day... and yodelling.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:29 pm,
Ahem...please note I did say TAKE... not obliterate. Your need men on the ground to TAKE a country, even airlifted in, the planes could still be sh** down. It'd be a risky business.
Culos - January 28, 2009, 3:29 pm,
Dear oh dear oh dear. Yodeling is Austria, Cuckoo clock are Black Forest Germany. Precision watches is Swiss or was before the East started copying them cheap
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:30 pm,
Oh yeah...great clocks. chocolate, clever little knives, the papal Swiss guard, and yodeling. Waht else are we missing?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:31 pm,
Austria's next door, the swiss learned to Yodel to stay friendly...I never said cuckoo clocks, I said fancy ones. So nyer. :P
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:32 pm,
It just seems to me that if Hitler had directed his attention at Switzerland rather than Russia, he would have been better off.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:32 pm,
nyer?? thats sooooo grown up
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:33 pm,
I'm not familiar with "nyer."
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:33 pm,
Taking on Russia is something nobody should do...ever. They have too many people, too many weapons, too many nukes and too much landmass. Hitler was overreaching to say the least, even back then.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:34 pm,
And too much weather.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:34 pm,
It's my variation (along with other people's) of ner-ner...
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:36 pm,
And ner-ner is...?
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:36 pm,
Mark its basically sticking your tongue out
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:37 pm,
Thank you...LOL There's that common language thing again.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:38 pm,
Where in Great Britain are you? I'm just outside of Chicago, Illinois.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:39 pm,
you're very welcome
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:39 pm,
What was this topic about again? Oh yeah...war...seems kinda boing suddenly with cookies, chocolate and tongue-sticking-out, making the news...
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:39 pm,
Im in Glasgow, Sunny Scotland
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:40 pm,
In the words of Monty Python "SSSSSSHHHHHHHH, don't tell 'im!"
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:40 pm,
ahem** with regards to the tongue sticking out Hur Hur YOOOOOOOOU started it
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:40 pm,
I a**ume it's cold there now. I was just out shoveling the snow off of my driveway.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:41 pm,
*sigh* Londinium, proudly sitting across the banks of the Thames.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:42 pm,'s ALWAYS cold in Scotland. It's only recently they discovered that inner-atmospheric sunlight existed in concentrations above 5%.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:42 pm,
Actually havent had snow which sucks as I like it. Had a dusting but it didnt last .....
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:44 pm,
OI!!!! dont be slagging MY country just cos youre city is twice the poulation of my entire country would still kick youre arses
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:45 pm,
I enjoy the snow also. Chicago gets all four seasons to the extreme. I'm looking forward to spring, summer, and fall so I can play golf.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:45 pm,
How's the weather in London?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:46 pm,
So...anyway, moving swiftly on... *deploys thermobaric bombs towards Glasgow* War? What is it gooood for?
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:46 pm,
We're a nation of scrappers apparently
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:47 pm,
Currently dark, but otherwise quite nippy (cold) a bit breezy (windy) and with a light spattering here and there (light drizzle).
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:48 pm,
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:48 pm,
LOL...I forgot about the time difference...LOL....I can't believe I could be so stupid. It's coming up on 3 in the afternoon here. It's cold but sunny.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:49 pm,
nippy up ere
LogicDude - January 28, 2009, 3:50 pm,
Well you guys have gone on and on about everything except the 1 thing the Swiss are really famous for: inventing holes which can mysteriously grow cheese around themselves.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:51 pm,
*ducks the knife attack from a scrappy Weegie* It's ok i have trouble with time differences too sometimes. *wheels sideways avoiding a broken-ended bottle* It's coming up on 9pm here. *avoids a three-punch and headb*** combo attempt*
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:51 pm,
Absolutely! I think that's my favorite cheese.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:52 pm,
blimey you were quiet for a while ld
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:52 pm,
Hi there, I replied to that Russian Bazooka thingy, but you might not like it... after reading it if you'd like to call it quits I'd be happy to discuss cheese-manifesting holes with you. :D
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:53 pm,
It's getting rough in here.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:53 pm,
ofgs Hur Hur Im not that bloody bad.. a mild malkying maybe
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:56 pm,
You're speaking English again. I can't understand. What's "malkying?"
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:56 pm,
Malkying meaning a stab...right?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 3:56 pm,
That's not english, that Glaswegian... another language entirely.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 3:57 pm, it. Thanks.
Elliballs - January 28, 2009, 3:58 pm,
ahahahahha HurHur you are wrong.. its JUST a stab its a beating in general..a mild malky is no worse than a *** on the head right down to severe
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 3:59 pm,
... malky where knives and other implements are used.. here endeth the lesson
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:00 pm,
'Scuse me for not understanding Weegie... being from somewhere other than violent-knife-crime-capital-of-Europe land.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:01 pm,
Very nice...A Sean Connery quote from the movie The Untouchables which was filmed in Chicago...You're good.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:01 pm,
and oddly enough one of the most friendly.. who makes up these polls??
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:02 pm,
you're from London thats punishment enough for you
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:02 pm,
It was a quote from a film I have never actually seen... wow, I guess I must be... that or the writer for that film sent me a telepathic message. Coolness either way.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:04 pm,
I was referring to "here endeth the lesson." Sean Connery says that in the movie.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:04 pm,
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:06 pm,
hahahahaha Hurhur he meant meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! thanks
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:06 pm,
Aah, I see. That comes from Buffy the Vampire slayer too...and quite a few other places.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:07 pm,
I never saw that movie.. i gotta now
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:07 pm,
Sorry...never been much of a Buffy fan.
Culos - January 28, 2009, 4:08 pm,
This thread now has the #3 status on most comments and I guess the absolute #1 status on Off-Topic comments. Me thinks it is time we get a Motifake Chatroom don't you?
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:08 pm,
Me neither, Sarah-Michelle Gellar was cute and all, but I just never got into it.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:08 pm,
must watch buffy again
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:09 pm,
Sean Connery plays a Chicago police officer who encounters Eliot Ness (played by Kevin Kostner) and recognizes that he is a Federal Agent simply by looking at him.
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:10 pm,
Gotta respct Sean Connery really... despite his being Scottish and saying he can just barely tolerate the English.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:10 pm,
what was that japanese one... rising sun ? brill in that one
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:11 pm,
Culos - You're absolutley right. Its just so unusual to get on this site and not argue with someone. I'm enjoying the hands across the ocean.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:11 pm,
hey he's snubbed his own tooooo
HurHur... - January 28, 2009, 4:11 pm,
Anyhoos, must dash and yes Culos, a chatroom would be fantastic. :D
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:12 pm,
The Japanese one didn't hold my interest.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:14 pm,
Bye HurHur...I have to go soon too. Jeopardy comes on the TV at 3:30 here. I can't miss Jeopardy.
Ellibells - January 28, 2009, 4:17 pm,
Im off too peeps *** have fun
Mark - January 28, 2009, 4:18 pm,
It was nice talking with you. Catch ya later.
Sean - January 28, 2009, 4:34 pm,
Honestly Mark, you have a lot to learn about having an interminable flame war with complete strangers. Bye.
Mark - January 28, 2009, 5:41 pm,
Sean - I'm a lover...not a fighter.
Mark - February 20, 2009, 1:27 pm,
What's going on here? How can this be an unrated poster with 139 comments? It's been around a long time.
JrTadpole93 - April 8, 2009, 10:45 pm,
Hooyah, Mikey. We will never forget what you did. R.I.P.
Titus Pullo - July 14, 2009, 10:26 am,
I guess having a single IP at work causes a person to rack up fraudulant votes. Oh wait. It could also be that a lot of other people are on that IP addy also. That's okay, it isn't about ranking, it's about tribute to a fallen SEAL.
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