[GaryO]

Dawgs of the hill

Seems we all had one breed of dog at that country hillside neighborhood…….Mix.

Bart had the meanest wiemar mix I’d ever seen.
He was either growling and snarling, or chasing something or someone.
No bark, just bared teeth and a low guttural growl.
Since their place was more a junk yard than yard, well, yeah, his dog was the epitome of a junk yard dog.
Seems they didn’t ever hafta feed it.
Not a bad plan, as they didn’t have the rodent, coon, and possum population the rest of us had at times.

Eddie had this terrier mix.
It grinned.
Yeah, the damn dog would grin.
First time I saw that, I told Eddie; ‘Uh, I think yer dog has rabies.’
‘Naw, he’s just grinnin’ atcha.’
Quite unnerving.
Damn thing following us all around with that weird ass grin.
It was if Eddie had taken his model glue and bonded his dog’s lips to his gums.

The Hansens didn’t have a dog, per se.
They didn’t really require a dog, what with their kids keeping the turd population up by takin’ turns poopin’ in the yard an all.

Which reminds me of my distant neighbor, Charlie, that we had when my lady and I built our first cabin.
Back in the ‘70s we had five acres at the end of a loggin’ road, Charlie had ten acres.
First thing we did was build an outhouse.
Charlie was ‘getting ready’ to build his.
A year later, ol’ Charlie and I was discussing outhouse building techniques, and the intellectual deficiencies of our dogs, when we both noticed his mentally challenged collie ‘Flame’ munching away on a fresh mound of turds.
‘Look at my damn dog.’
‘Disgusting.’
‘Hey, wait a minute….that’s mine!’
Seems one gets used to certain things like hangin yer hind end over a log when the urge calls.

I don’t recall that Brad or Ike had any dogs.
Cats, yeah they had cats.
So, that’s like not having your own pet at all.
I mean, I don’t remember Brad or Ike bringin’ their cat with ‘em when they came over.
Now if you had a dog, just try to leave him home when you went somewhere…….

Andy’s dog was a terrier mix.
And old.
He’d lost his hearing a century or so ago, and most of the time just moseyed around looking for a place to plop.
Andy would call him for a bike ride.
Tippy!
Tippy!
Tippeeeeeee!
Finally he would walk over, pick his mangy ass up and set him in the little cart he’d rigged up on his bike.
He even went with us when we made our 50 mile bike journey around Sauvie Island….but that’s another story.
It was a sad day when Tippy met his maker, so to speak.
He was just moseyin’ across the road…didn’t see or hear Bart’s dad barreling down the hill.
Andy screaming TIPPEEEEEE!
Then kathump.

Andy never got another dog, but had plenty of pets.
He had several cages of different animals.
White rats, a couple squirrels, some pigeons, a coon, and a hawk.
They were all quite entertaining.
Dangling the rats by their tails over the hawk's cage was always good.
But mostly we just turned ‘em upside down and looked at their genitals.
If you stretch a pigeon’s wings out, they tend to get all embarrassed…….

My dog was a Sheppard mix.
Quite gentle, but would feign defending the place.
Him and Bart’s wiemar mix got into it a couple times.
Not sure ever who won, ‘cause there was just alotta GRRRRR, AUGHERRRR, each on their hind legs, heads goin’ after each other’s necks, then they’d just stop.
Too bad people can’t be more like that.

Tag went with us on our hikes and camp outs, me, him, Andy and Tippy.
The word ‘remarkable’ never entered in to conversation about my dog. But he was a love sponge, that just cherished any attention you’d give him.
I was moving toward the devious stage of boyhood, so I’d play a few mind games with him.
‘TAG! Shame on you, you stupid idiot!’
He’d lower his head, eyes lookin’ up at you like, ‘Oh gawd, I’ve done it again. Whatever it was, man, I’m really really sorry. Could you ever forgive me?’
Then I’d just say, ‘Here boy!’
And he’d get all happy and giddy. Tail beatin’ me to death, lickin’ my face.
Then
‘TAG! Shame on you’
It was a fun game.
But mostly his main duty in life was just to carefully lay his clumps of hind end hair all over the yard.
The other duty he maintained was taking turns lickin’ himself and my face.

We may have had a cat too.

[Schultz1]

Eddie sounds like he would just hump you death in your sleep. Tag sounds very similar to my friend's dog, Brandy aka Dingo, Dukes, Baby, Count Dukeulars, Demon Dog. Dammit that dog has a whole list of nicknames.

So now to my story.

Just sat through three long hours of Where Eagles Dare. Nice movie. Some parts way too fake for my liking. Mary Ure was looking nice. The only problem was that I saw this movie on that An Officer and a Movie thing on the Military channel. So when a break came the host would talk to some officer and that just becomes boring when they always talk about training and stunt actors for the movie.



Story 2. Not really a story though.


Went to my local arts theatrical hall and listened to Beethoven symphony no.9 in D minor. Best I have heard of the classical music that we have on tapes and records. Gary, if you haven't heard it yet. You should. In all that 1 hour 45 minutes was well worth the walk and price.

[GaryO]

Hey Schultzy

Never saw the movie, but I did read the book…actually I listened to it on PBS while working a 2nd job back in the eighties.
Thanks for the warning on the movie.



I’ve listened to most of the classics, Beethoven is no exception.
Very moving pieces.
They put me in another world.
Weird, most times, even if I haven’t heard it before, I know what’s coming.
I’m not generally moody, but they put me in a mood like none other.
I have to be alone when I listen.

Agh, I’m trying to discipline myself to compile about 300 pages of fractured pose that happen to be scattered in about twenty unkempt files….damn I hate this……….

Thanks for the distraction.

Oh, and while compiling, we are watching Mountain Men on the History channel. Yeah, it’s contrived, with the exception of Eustace Conway. He’s pretty darn real, and I read a book about him one night back at the cabin.

[Bull]

Warning: The following program contains explicit content and is not suitable for children.
Viewer Discretion is Advised.

So I've had this boil on my inner thigh for a few days and it's been hurting like hell. Any fat guy can tell you a rash or sore on your inner thighs is excruciating. Well anyway, I woke up this morning and didn't really notice I wasn't in as much discomfort as before. I walk into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee in a tee shirt and my briefs.

So I'm standing there, got my coffee poured, I'm taking my first sip, when my wife walks in. Apparently the boil had popped somewhere between me getting out of bed and walking into the kitchen. I've got a thick line of dark blood running down my leg and she looks at me and I swear it was like a tv sitcom .. she says what the hell happened there? You get your period?

At first I was a bit confused because my wife doesn't talk to me like that. She points down and I see it and I've been laughing about it all day. LOL!! I got my period this morning!!! I'm officially a pubescent girl!!!!

Sorry guys but I had to share that with somebody.

[Greeny]

For some my coffee doesn't taste good anymore

[GaryO]

Well now, so much for breakfast.
That day old pizza is gonna become a 2 day old pizza.
The lonely cherry filled cream puff has also lost it’s appeal.
Let’s see, let’s see, what goes good with festering thigh sores………..ah, a swig of pepto

Cheers

[GaryO]

So I got busy yesterday.
Mowed and trimmed the lawn, did a couple delayed projects and generally did what geriatrics do (scatch, itch, burp, fart, grunt, while searching for what ever it was).
A few years back, I cut a huge hole in the back of our house and installed a french door….I love french doors.
I have a mini ceremony morning and evening, opening ‘em up to hear the birds in the garden, and the angels in my head sing.
Also, they accommodate the moving of large items, large items like TVs and baby grands, and couches, and beds….and rather quickly, like when the offspring (spawn) discovers where we live, after discovering they ‘just can’t make it on our own’.
Yeah, quick exit, escape, hide.
Anyhoot, I now have a path from our living area, thru my den, thru the french doors, and onto the deck.
I usually sit out there, stoke the fire pit, sit back, sip, and watch my rhubarb grow, thinking profound things like, ‘I should just bring the coffee pot out here’, or ‘ice chest, eueka!, I’ll get an ice chest for the deck!’ or thoughts of developing a spring loaded gizmo that an oldster can just set their belly (or sagging boobs) on and ease themselves down to do their garden tending…..actually I will develop this…Whamo here I come. Note to self; include boob rack…one for the ladies too.

Where was I (had to toss another piece of wood, carving gone awry, on the pit).
Ah, yesterday….even though I love the french doors, they are not screen friendly. So I zipped over to Home Dopey to get one’a those magic screens. It’s a doorless screen that is somehow magic….the word ‘magic’ adding $19.95 to the ‘but that’s not all’ price.
They don’t have them.
I made my own…abra cadabra….presto…screen with a dowel for weight at the bottom…duh….$3.95
Now we’ll be house fly free this summer.
The fly swatters will now become marsh mellow skewers for when the grandpuppies come over.

Today.
Today is father’s day.
The day beings from other planets (that think they are somehow my spawn) target my place, my beloved deck, my back yard, my toilet, my fridge, me, and zoom in to terrorize the daylights outta my kingdom. Grand kids with silly string, and humongous squirt guns that make Papaw do his jump-scream-cuss trick, and pets that s***, and parents with laugh tracks on self activating pull strings, and parents with tape measures, sizing up rooms for their furniture….
Bestowing gifts of wooden objects (they know I like wood) from exotic lands (China) that I’ll feign putting in my curio (and toss them in my Jeep the next day for a thrift shop donation).

And they don’t readily go away. After several hours, saying things like, ‘we really should go’…my eyebrows twitch upward, I try to hide my glee, when my lady sez, ‘oh, but it’s so early’ (the goddamn sun is setting!!)…but I realize that it’s just intermission, and the stroke of midnight is still in the distant future.

So, after several hours, I’ll do my customary thing, cracking the bathroom door open every twenty minutes and whispering, ‘Are they gone yet?’

But this only after taking my dad to Brunch, and watching him smear syrup and butter around his mouth, then commence crying and drooling over how things used to be.

Today is father’s day…..for whom the bell tolls.

This too shall pass

[Schultz1]

I want a boob rack. Not for me though. I have no moobs.

[GaryO]

Yeah, I don’t have ‘em either. Just going after the masses.
I will develop it, but will not try to sell it, or even get it manufactured….I know those rigors…..life is too short for all that. However, I’ll make a few, try them out on several shapes and sizes of folks, tweak it here and there, begin the patent process, and preset it to investors and manufacturers.
It’ll be a fun project.

[fan4camping]

Well, I made a decision at the start of this weekend, I'm opting for a "Season Site" next year.
It makes it MUCH easier to go camping if the camper is already there waiting for me.
This business of hauling it back and forth every time I want to go camping gets costly for fuel.
Not to mention the time spent for tear-down and set-up.
It's much easier to just pack a few clothes & food, and GO.

As I mentioned over in Off-Topic, I paid for the next 2 weekends, and will have an extended weekend
starting from July 4th, thanks to a couple Vacation Days added to the National Holiday.

After that, only 2 weekends for sure at this time, the weekend of July 14th when some group comes in
to rent the clubhouse & 5 camp sites (expecting it to be fun to observe), and then Labor Day weekend.

Might be more between those, but depends on how finances are at that time.

As for any projects, I really only had 1 this weekend. I got the CD changer hooked up.

Next weekend, I'll bring an 80mm computer fan to ventilate the cupboard with the radio & changer.
It does get a bit warm in there, so not only would I be doing the electronics a favor, but also would be
better for any food items down at the other end of the cupboard that wouldn't do so well with the extra warmth.
I may also pick up on a couple 12v oscillating fans to circulate the air throughout the camper, if the AC isn't needed.

Another project now added to the list, is build some structural support for the sagging roof.
After 38 years, and the weight of the rooftop AC unit not part of the original design, a sagging roof isn't a surprise.
With a couple of low spots, the roof tends to pool water, and 1 spot just happens to be
by the roof vent that is over the bed.
I had a slight wet spot to sleep in last night, but rigged a temporary support to prevent further drips
in case it rains during the week while I'm not there.
I already have a design in mind, and will only require a couple of 2x4's and three 2x2's.
I'll go get those after work tomorrow, and maybe I might stop up there after work during the week
to build it, otherwise I'll do it on the weekend.
I felt it would be better to support it from the inside, rather than build a steel structure on the roof
and have to drill holes to suspend it from above.
That would just look way too redneck, and making holes in the roof is just asking for leak troubles.

If I have my way about it, this camper will still be around & in use for several more years.