[GaryO]

International flights are entertaining, the first few anyway.
The long ones are a tad horrendous.
From the left coast of the US to Hong Kong via Canada it’s about 14 hrs. Hated that, but did get some reading done. Just don’t like sittin’ so long.

On my very first trip, the sumos on my right and left seemed to think the arm rests were theirs, so I fed them to them….OK, I didn’t feed them my arm rests, but I did let them graze on my meals to keep their elbows busy.
No loss, the food got weirder and weirder as we crossed foreign waters. I didn’t realize that a thing called birds nest with some kinda sticks and hard noodles smothered with snake vagina puree was a treat.
I vividly recall, deodorant was as foreign to them as the puree on their multiple chins was to me.

Morbidly obese people have a way of intermittent snoring that coaxes one to help them breathe. It became a game.
I didn’t speak their language, so conversation was limited to grunts, snorts, and cordial oinks, with the occasional gesture of a hoof.
I had to get up and move around on occasion, so had to negotiate Twiddle Dum, but felt pretty darn lithe as my comparative tiny 247 lbs flitted over his dimpled knees.

OK, really, I have absolutely nothing against the corpulently gifted, and realize I was as much of a nuisance as they were to me, since they were probably banking on the middle seat remaining vacant to accommodate the occasional listing to port and starboard side.

The one thing I learned on that trip was to secure an aisle seat.

[spypengen]

[M0rd3kaI]

Lucky for me I had a window seat most of the time, and I really enjoyed looking out from the windows to gaze at the few thousand feet below me. I really don't have a problem with heights (Thus my job) and I enjoy them, and to me the window seat also held some very nice photographs.

People next to me were luckily not obese... or even overweight, they were friendly most of the time. Luckily I don't mind sitting so long and the fact that I worked like a donkey for 2 months running barely on empty when it comes to sleep helped me when the sights got somewhat boring. I did, however get so horribly frustrated with one flight, I went to sleep and woke up on the tarmac the other side... Bugger... missed my free supper... Bastards.

Favourite part of the flight... when the pilot shoves the throttles out of the front of the aircraft and you being pinned into your seatback like an astronaut. Second favourite... when the pilot yanks the elevation controls through his chest, thus pinning you into your seat once more.

I do remember the absolute shitefest it is getting on and off of a plane... Getting on is a bloody waste, everyone thinks they have to stand in the middle of the aisle and chat before the pilot has to come out of the cockpit and chase them to their seats. Getting off, however is an even bigger mess, I mean the plane touches the ground and you can already see people reaching for their seatbelt buckles, seconds before the plane comes to a complete stop you can already hear the distinctive clicking of the belts being loosened. As soon as the plane stops the people fly up and storm to the front of the plane... thinking the doors are going to be open only for 3 minutes. hoping, desperately that they are going to get off.

I learned on my first flight, sit, relax, put your phone on so long, play a game or 2, wait for the mass of people to leave, calmly stand up and disembark... goodness, I'm too tired to stand for those 10 or 20 minutes before the doors open.

There is another reason I dislike the aisle seat... the people have a habit of shoving their arse into your face, and they have oh, so sensitive feelings, you can't even ask them to turn... bleeding imbeciles. Anyway.

[GaryO]

Good points, M0rd.
I tend to get a tad claustrophobic if I’m jammed in a corner, but window seats do have their perks.

Yeah, the aisle.
I like to get up on occasion, stretch.
It’s a bother to some.

Hind ends in yer face.
Depends on who’s.

Spy
If I recall, you are from the Dallas area, correct?
If so, how’d your place fare with the latest drop in from Ma nature?

And……I have put some things to black and white about Texas a few (maybe several) pages back.
Might be a good read for you.

Cheers

[spypengen]

Good points, M0rd.
I tend to get a tad claustrophobic if I’m jammed in a corner, but window seats do have their perks.

Yeah, the aisle.
I like to get up on occasion, stretch.
It’s a bother to some.

Hind ends in yer face.
Depends on who’s.

Spy
If I recall, you are from the Dallas area, correct?
If so, how’d your place fare with the latest drop in from Ma nature?

And……I have put some things to black and white about Texas a few (maybe several) pages back.
Might be a good read for you.

Cheers

my city is on top of a hill so most tornadoes go around it but I did get some rain

[M0rd3kaI]

Ah, Now I understand, yes, stretching is essential, but I can do that in place on the seat. my feet go forward and I think my actions look similar to someone having a faint orgasm....... -when sitting in a chair that cramped and stretching... well it can sometimes feel like it as well- but that's just how I roll... if people can't laugh with me, I make odd things happen and they generally leave me alone I do love the seats next to the emergency exits, there isn't a chair in front of that... EXTRA LEG ROOM!!! Bloody hell, can swear I'm flying in first class then.

[Rick69]

I'll just add in something small but related...:

Last time I was on the seat in front of the emergency exit, I was about 14 I think. So the attractive stewardess (I was flying on KLM & Dutch attendants ALWAYS look rather attractive... Especially to a rather bored 14 year old who's been watching [I love my long-term memory] Monsters Inc. for the last 7 hours or so on another flight).

Yeah, as I was saying, this 6 feet flight attendant quietly comes over to me (I was on the window side & mum on the aisle) & she says "I'm sorry but only adults can sit here. In the case of emergency, we need someone able to open the exit promptly and guide other passengers here safely... And that's quite a responsibility."

Me being quite cranky & not in the mood to give up my leg space quietly get up & turn to leave... NOT.

I turned around the handle of the hatch & was about to open it when she half-screams half-whispers in half-Dutch, "What the f... Get away from there."

The nearby passengers' head instantly turns & all eyes on her... Probably on her sculpted ass but that's a different matter. Needless to say, she would have willingly jumped out from the half-opened hatch if she could... So it all ended in me getting a place in first class... & I dragged my mum along as well with the old "I can't go anywhere with her". Good ol' flying days. Now, I'm the one trying to learn how to fly & glide planes...

So yeah... Rambling over & out.

[M0rd3kaI]

That is so nice, I just love people that underestimate children... some of them have a very good point to get across, chances in an accident that a child freezes and can't remember how to open the door.... well, it's slim. anyway. First class you say? that's quite the comeback she had to your appropriate behaviour. You and your Mother must have liked that?

Ah, so you're studying to become a pilot?? (Good god, I can't type this evening) golden rule: "Any flight you can crawl away from was as good as it can get... Means the passengers won't forget your skills too soon"

[GaryO]

Excellent ramble, Rick...reminds me of a story.....but gotta wrap things up at the office....
Oh, the life of a working stiff.

Getting your solo I suspect (?)

[Rick69]

Not exactly on the mark but close enough. I'm not actually learning to be a pilot but my college has this basic army thing. They call it CCF (Combined Cadet Force) & involves all pupils in our college to choose between: Army, RAF (Royal Air Force), Navy, Miscellaneous (fixing broken cars or manning ammunition/gun stores) or none of the above.

Once you choose, you are dedicated to that fully. Now Navy is the shittiest you can get from the 3 major ones. Army is the most serious.committed to being brainless grunts on the ground practising with rifles & whatnot while the RAF is right in the middle. A balance of casual lazy style mixed with brains involved in flying frcking object soaring through the air & doing drills, marches, parades as well. It's a nice relaxed balance.

By now you'd have guessed I'm proud to be serving the RAF... And flying and/or gliding is just part of the deal which you can choose to take part in (Who heck in the world can say no to "Hey, do you wanna fly a plane today?") So that's why I'm still in the basic training of flying an aircraft without going crazy with loop de loops 10 feet off the ground and stuff like that...

Something a little off-topic ish now: how do I end a rambling without resorting back to... So yeah...