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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby GaryO » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:15 pm

Meat

Gawd I love a good steak.
Somehow, I enjoy ‘em best in a restaurant.
Something about the wait, the drink, the salad, the topless waitress….wait.
bbbrrrrrriiip…the salad, the drink, the bread, the topless wai…..OK, this is getting tiresome……
…the bread, the casual conversation while slowly craning yer neck to see where the hell yer sizzling plate of cow is.
Then here it comes……sssschssss-sssschssss-sssschssss….right by your table.
One more beer and the bread and salad, and extra bread begin to swell to twice the size of yer stomach.
After an hour of listening to your bud’s wife describe how funny a maliciously unfunny event was (‘it was s-o-o-o-o funny’), yer fake smile muscles begin to twitch uncontrollably, morphing into a nervous pathetic grimace.
Three man days of verbal brain waterboarding torture later, the waiter brings yer pathetically tiny steak on a sizzleless plate.
I gently motion (with my fist clenched around his collar) for the waiter to lean his ear into my face.
‘#$%&*$#%#$%&*$#%#$%&*$#%^,’ I explain.
Finally we get our sizzling plate of thick juicy New York strip steaks, of which mine is marinated in a special sauce…..

damn…company….more in the morning
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby Mooooooooooooooooooo » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:43 pm

````No.


Bloody strips of meat cooked at home, barely seasoned and only cooked at all because my mom told me I had to.

Medium alive please....I wanna hear it Mooooooooooooooooooo.
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It must be made from traditional Texas taco meat.....Illegal immigrants.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby 5butjam » Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:07 am

Meat is delicious when cooked right, it's why I can't stand barbecues. Most people don't know what they're doing and by the time you get what was supposed to be a juicy, succulent pork and apple sausage comes out as a charred piece of dryness that you stick between bread and lash with sauce to give it just a bit more moisture than a cracker.

Crispy bacon grinds my gears as well, as my uncle would say "oinking" is how I want it served
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby GaryO » Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:30 am

OK, the ‘special’ sauce was due to the chef taking personal what I said to the waiter.

But scrap the story. There’s opines to discuss.

Hmmmm

Mooooooooooooooooooo likes his steak twitching on the bleeding hoof….at home…..home on the range.

5Jam likes his bacon rubbery, but dislikes meat cracker barbeque.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we are called ‘individuals’.

Now

Bacon

No I don’t care for burnt bacon.
But I’m not so fond of a thin strip of meat that after a bite, springs back into my sandwich, or worse, decides to remain attached and ends up dangling on my chin, either.
No, I like it crisp…not burnt….crisp.
The taste bud twanging triad made in heaven is eggs, bacon and toast.
A generous corner of buttered toast blanketed with a dollop of strawberry jam, hiding under a bit of over medium egg, topped with a half a slice of crisp bacon, swigged down with ice cold milk straight from the jug, is of the gods.

A BLT, properly prepared.
Lightly toasted wheat, a hint of mayo, with thick sliced dead ripe lightly salted and peppered tomatoes, iceberg lettuce leaved between generous amounts of thin sliced crisp bacon, washed down with sweet sun tea, will make ya fall down and scream.

Bacon with other meats?
No, not I.
I’m a purist when it comes to meat.
I like for my bacon to be the star attraction.

Beef

I do love a good pot roast, but for me, it’s steak all the way.
New York strip.
No sauces, gawd no, just lightly salted.
Done by a steak chef that knows what he’s doin’.
A bit more than passing his lighter over it, but not much more than flame searing in the juices.
He knows what I want, because when we chat, I stuff a twenty in his shirt pocket, and he'd like to see another next time.
I make a good steak, but I don’t care to cook, braze or broil, then sit to eat.
My lady is good at creating a good steak too, but I like the celebration of ‘going out’, going out to my favorite haunt, of which I know the chef, going out to sit across from my woman, good conversation, sipping a favorite beverage, hungry.
The salad is small, and even though the little loaf of fresh baked bread is enticing, I just have a bite or two to get the enzymes going.
The thick, generous portion, sizzling before me, yields to just my fork, juices making a moat around the flawlessly flame seared wedge.
The fork full makes my taste buds dance to the orchestrated symphony of lusty heaven sent flavours.
It's enough to make yer eyes roll back in yer head.

Yeah, it’s steak all the way.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby fan4camping » Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:39 pm

GaryO wrote:And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why we are called ‘individuals’.


Yes, a good roast is high on the list, slow cooked til it practically falls apart when you touch it.
Prime Rib, still pink in the middle, but hot all the way through. If I wanted a cold steak, I'd order it RAW.
New York Strips are ok, but my fav. is Top Sirloin, cooked very much like a good Prime Rib.

As for bacon, I also cannot stand bacon so over cooked that when you bite into it, it mimics
a strip of charcoal and crumbles. As long as it's still a bit flexible, I'm good with it.
It can be anywhere from no longer pink to mildly crisp, where it only sags a little if I pick it up in the middle.

I do enjoy baked chicken, but nothing beats a well seasoned leg quarter cooked over an open fire.
KFC's got NUTHIN compared to cooking it myself over the camp fire.

Speaking of open fire cooking, we can't forget Brats. My fav. of those is Johnsonville's Cheddar Brats,
with Beer Brats, Beef Brats & Stadium Brats closely following.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby Schultz1 » Tue Jun 26, 2012 6:07 pm

I love me some good juicy deer. Fatty pork. Crispy steak. All with a side of warm apple sauce, rye bread with radishes and butter (pinch of salt) I am getting hungry just sitting here. I need to go to the store now.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby GaryO » Wed Jun 27, 2012 6:11 am

Henry

I feel as though I’m on the set of the last half hour of Papillion, or the movie Life.
Just said g’mornin’ to Henry for the gazillionth time.
He’s been an employee at this fine establishment since the doors opened, before even me, of which I’m regarded as the furniture. We are both a bit slower of foot and noticeably grayer since we first met.
We have light conversation…about gardening, the weather, our offspring.

He’s a bit short on words.
Been thru a gaggle of engineer regimes.
Been in charge of what we call the process room forever.
It’s where we encapsulate, vacuum varnish, mold, and do all the dirty work…..the dirty work that takes a mad scientist to coordinate all the tanks, racks, and ovens to yield product (as our brochure says) ‘in a timely manner’.
For him, it’s a symphony, and he’s the conductor.
Patience his not his strong point.
He’s ‘hard to work with’.
Whenever an upstart engineering manager approaches him about a certain process (more like begging for an answer, so he can document the procedure in the build book), his usual reply is, ‘You’re the engineer, you tell me….ah...hahahahahaha’.

He can be seen on any given day, meticulously scraping out the last drop of epoxy in a 5 gallon bucket….’It’s expensive’.

About ten years ago I had to take him in to counsel.
He’d made a production worker upset, to the point of tears.
We all knew he was just being Henry, harsh words were how he communicated.

I sat with him and the production manager, and explained to him about how he represented our company, and therefore an example, blather blah, blah, blather.
I guess he took every one of my words to heart.
I guess I dressed him down, took him to his inner core, because he began to weep.
It really took me off stride, as I was just building momentum, not even getting off my final salvo.
It confirmed what I’d learned sometime before.
Gruff crusty people, folks with chips on their shoulders, that once the armor of their defense is removed, will just fall apart.
I guess he was more than motivated that day, because motivation lasts only a short time, but he has yet to come off so harsh, as he’d been so many times before.

He is not articulate in the English language.
Someone once mentioned to me that ‘Henry sure speaks funny’.
‘Yeah, he speaks funny like that in seven languages.’

He was a man without a country for around twenty years.
I was one of the privileged few from our company that he’d invited to the celebration of his citizenship.
A lot of his people were there, and they all revered him as a god.
He looked good in his uniform.
That day he became ‘Henry’, and we shared a six pack of Private Reserve. He still mentions our little celebration, and has the Henry’s Private Reserve cap, I’d given him that day, hanging above his desk.

Henry has several distinct scars all over himself.
Holes the size of machine gun rounds.
Holes that remind him of the death march, of hiding under the body of the guy that became him when he took his identity papers because he’d lost his.
Holes that should have killed him more than once.
Holes that remind him of the loss of his entire family.
Holes that cause him to be even less verbal when someone inquires as to ‘what’d you do to get that?’

Holes that remind him of the price of freedom.

He still eats his lunch with sticks, sometimes sitting on the picnic bench cross legged.
It was a year or so after I’d hired on that Henry learned it was more acceptable to sit on the toilet instead of stand.
I was glad to see that…hated always having to wipe those freaking footprints off the lid every damn time.

Yeah, him and I are on the other side of the hill now.
But it’s still really great to say g’mornin’ to my fellow countryman every day….it’s actually quite an honour.
M0rd3kaI wrote:Gary...I sometimes worry about you... (although it's not this time, I just wanted to get that out there)


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axe11154 wrote:you sick old man


Hawamleh wrote:When Gary goes all south, you better not even try to comprehend what he's saying.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby Schultz1 » Wed Jun 27, 2012 5:37 pm

If I cross my legs. One leg falls asleep or I crush my penis.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby Schultz1 » Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:46 pm

Ted's

A while back I used to go to Ted's. He has this small liquor store in a old parking lot right behind these large stores. Hard to see his place unless you know it's there. So I would go there to buy lotto tickets and scratchers. Maybe a small bag of skittles. Ted was there sometimes, not always. He had four other guys who took turns every week. But when Ted was there it was fun. He was a nice man who smelled of peas and ginger. You could talk to him about anything. I would walk into the store and he always said to me, "Hey Vladek how are you today?!" I would rarely respond because I knew sometimes he couldn't hear me. I talked to him while the kids picked out mints candy to bring home. He didn't care if I bought scratchers for my kids. I could cash in a check there for quick cash. The only thing he didn't allow was people under 18 ( my kids) to hand in the scratchers themselves (So I would for them) When someone with a mean attitude would walk in he would force them out no matter what. Safe little hangout. Three years ago I stopped going there. Just had no time. I drive by it sometimes wondering if he is still there or that cranky asian took over. Since 1982 he has been there. But not sure now.
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Re: Personal stories, ramblings, could be lengthy

Postby GaryO » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:28 am

Dammit, Schultzy, if you haven’t done it again.
I’m sittin’ here laughing my ass off, knowing it’s not (entirely) meant to be funny.

Ever read Jack Handey (Deep Thoughts)?
You, sir, are Jack Handey.

This is killer stuff.
All the writers of ‘Deep Thoughts’ would have to do is copy what you write.
‘He was a nice man who smelled of peas and ginger’
"Hey Vladek how are you today?!" I would rarely respond because I knew sometimes he couldn't hear me.

I’m sorry if you’re being serious….. It all just hits my funny bone square on……OK OK I’m not sorry.
.

Cheers to you, Schultzy
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