[5butjam]

I guess I'm going to post here looking for some advice from the older members of the community in terms of how my day/weekend/past few weeks have been.

So I've been seeing a girl for about 11 months now, it'll be a year in about 2 and a half weeks. Now recently, because of the amount of hours she works at McDonalds and the amount of studying I have to put in outside of school we don't see each other much. We're both fine with this because we know that if anything carries on for really long term, it has to be able to survive the months when we're apart at University.

The problem is in two parts really. The first part is the simplest and is down to her illness making her very tired and tight chested whenever we're together. This makes it difficult to enjoy our time together and also difficult to.... 'enjoy' time together. I was wondering whether any of the real life greybeards have dealt with something like this and how you dealt with it?

Second problem (and the main reason for all our arguments) is that recently, she's been cancelling roughly 50% of our plans. We agree to do something, usually just have her round to my house, and she often texts me or calls me to tell me that she agreed to do extra hours at work (she hasn't gone a week without a 16 hour shift apparently) or something else comes up. She's weak willed and gives up to any pressure or guilt really easily so she won't say no but it seems that any plans she makes with other friends and the like go uninterrupted. Any advice on this section?

[Greeny]

put a new worm on the hook & toss it out again...

[GaryO]

The first ‘simple’ one:
If I read you correctly, and your enjoyment of ‘time together’ means what I think it means, then if coupled with a cough, those ‘times’ can be good…quite good.

OK, serious…when you say ‘illness’, I take it something that’s not going away……not an issue….work around it…real life.
It all depends on your feelings for her, and of course hers for you.

The real problem:
Sounds like you are fostering doubts….
You’ve been together a year.
You know her.
I think you already know the answer.
(Run the hook thru the entire worm body….first casts need to be in close, then work your way out)

[Feasibly]

What Gary & Greeny said...seriously.

And if you use a bait casting reel, don't worry about the backlash. There probably won't be much, if any.

[krazyivanthedivine]

Dude you've been "seeing" her for 11 months?! Jesus tabernack man what are you waiting for?

I've been with my old lady for almost a year and we live together, so I my situation doesn't exactly apply here. I can tell you from my years of gallivanting that you're young, there's tons of chicks out there. The best thing to do about her canceling plans is just back off; see if she plans anything and if she don't then just let it go to hell. If you're going off to college man, you're going to be earning an education in beer and girls fairly soon. ESPECIALLY if you are going to some big university, I met the love of my life at a community college in northern Maine for god sakes... You should meet plenty of girls with just as much open availability as you.

And FYI dude, I don't know where you live, but Sam worked at the local McDonalds before she got her job at the hospital. She never worked more than a 9 hour shift, and she was a shift manager. Sounds a little fishy to me, but who knows. In the end, we can spill all the advice we got til we're blue in the face, but its up to you to decide what you're gonna do.

Best of luck brotha.

PS, screwing is over-rated. After you're with someone for so long, it becomes something you do occasionally but its the finer things in life that are grand. Especially when she talks about kids... Your sex drive will plummet. To base a relationship solely on sex is only a ruse, and you'll eventually figure out that those relationships won't last. Trust me, I was I young buck not so long ago.

[5butjam]

Thanks for the advice guys, she's coming round tonight and I guess it's the make or break to decide on where we want to go next. Speaking to other people as well I think I'm happier staying with her but letting her know that things have to change or it's just not going to work.

Ivan, she lives a ten minute walk away from the place and they've found that she won't say no so they'll call her in for an 8am start then tell her that people have cancelled and beg her to stay until 11pm close. She's also the one who's rang at ungodly hours to cover someone else's shift. I'm fairly confident it's not legal and it's just the managers taking advantage of her so they don't have to hire more people to schedule.

[GaryO]

OK, well, maybe not a bad (convenient) relationship for the college years, but man, you might consider a little heart to heart with yourself….
Long haul doesn’t seem that becoming on those terms.
People don’t change…..things just get more (shall we say) ‘enhanced’.
Course, if her last name happens to be Cratchit, then maybe it’s quite honorable, but what you’ve relayed so far does not sound like a becoming situation, unless you are a tad steeped in self-flagellation…

Most importantly, do the British really eat mushy peas with their fish and chips?
…and if so, tell me they blend in something like Sriracha sause.

[5butjam]

Yes, yes we do. There is no need to mix anything in with them!

[GaryO]

R-i-g-h-t

[5butjam]

At the heart of all our legislation is the key principle of what we can have with chips. Every true Englishman knows acceptable condiments are

1.Salt and/or vinegar
2.Tomato Sauce
3. Brown Sauce
4. Mustard
5. Gravy
6. Curry
7. Mushy peas

Anything else is a 50 year prison sentence.