[spacedog]

You get the hearing back in your right ear, but your left ear falls off, making it very hard to wear your glasses.


I wish Canada a happy birthday. Oh, and for some more beer.

[MissPriss]

Canada has an incredible birthday with all the bells and whistles and you find the fabled never ending spigot of beer but it's American Near Beer (as us Canadians call it eh) and you pee every ten minutes destroying your manly imagine with the women.

I wish for accountable politicians and governments.

[GaryO]

Politicians are jailed and congress closes it’s doors, causing utter chaos of wealth, freedom, peace, and rife happiness throughout the land….wait
Prissy wakes up and realizes you can’t wish for things only found in fairy tales

I wish for glasses that don’t require left ears…wait
I wish for the slugs in my garden to become savory treats

[spacedog]

Done! Trust me, you'll be slurping those suckers down as fast as you can find 'em. Unfortunately everything else now tastes like chalk.


I wish electric cars were more manly.

[Mooooooooooooooooooo]

You get an electric car that looks cool and has a mini bar and James bond style gadgets. But it runs on static electricity.....you're gonna go through a lot of socks.

I wish for zero body fat.

[fan4camping]

You now have Zero body fat, but your diet to maintain things that way now consists of
all the bland & nasty tasting food you always refused before.

I wish for perfect camping weather EVERY weekend.

[davidbowie]

then a giant black hole engulfs the planet on a monday

i wish for a pet mogwai.

[Mooooooooooooooooooo]

You get your mogwai. But it picks it's nose and eats it after midnight and then takes a shower. You're fucked.


I wish for unlimited popcorn shrimp.

[davidbowie]

you suddenly are cursed with an allergy to shellfish

i wish for PETA to quit their bitching

[GaryO]

PETA becomes subversively silent, and secretly runs around after midnight turning bike lanes into pet paths

I wish to be alive during the repetitious rise and fall of the heaving Swedish breast society