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 | VALENTINE'S DAY - making single people feel like sh*t since 496 AD
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 | THE MOOOOTORCYCLE - A part animal, part machine, crimefighting dynamo...Soon you will feel THE POWER of MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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 | VERTICAL POISE - Not as AMSOME as my HORIZONTAL POISE, I'm feeling in my shorts at the moment... ...but PRETTIER
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 | SHE LOVES HER POLE - It may not be the Son-In-Law you wanted to cut the gra*s, but at least it won't eat you out of house and home.
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 | HER NEW HOBBY - Hey...it's better than wearing a stupid KNITTED CAP with a BALL on top!
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 | KEEPING HER OFF THE POLE - You gave her all the LOVE a little girl should get and more...YOU FAILED! Thank you for being a crappy DADDY
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 | WORKING FOR NUTS - d*mn! This economic slump affects everybody
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 | WATER - Pt just raised her act to the next level
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 | MEGAN FOX - The perfect spokesperson...she could sell Alaskans snow.... ...Best Super Bowl ad EVER!
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 | REGIFTING - Sometimes It Is A Good Thing
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