Over 52273
motifake

Tagged with: assignment


UM, CHARLOTTE... - What does "ROTFLMFAO! C YA IN A BLT ASAP!" mean? One of those douchebag ducks texted me on my Blackberry.



HOLIDAY DECORATIONS -



PARANOIA - Because you know next to nothing about how your IT dept. works, it took weeks before you checked to find that Naughtyfake isn't blocked. Now if only that damn janitor would stop walking around...



MUSICIAN - It hurts to say this, but let's face it: Things got so weird at one point, that he had to DIE in order for us to remember that he actually was one.



MY FIRST TIME - ...is symbolized in this photo. My hands were shaking nervously, I was still wearing pants, she pulled something, and the skeet shooting commenced.



DISTRACTIONS - Teaching my son to read at such an early age used to make me proud. But now I have a hideous flip-down DVD player in my Ford Focus because I want to drive to Costco in peace.



AWKWARDNESS - Well if it isn't good ol' Tigger! You really thought you could steal from me, leave Disneyland, and start a family in Wyoming, huh? Where's my honey, Tig? I want my damn honey.



FIRST OF ALL - Buy a new Sharpie.



REALITY - Damn! Whatever the neighbors are cooking smells delicious! Hmm... I wonder who the hell KC Masterpiece is, though. Wait a minute... Mom?



PIER PRESSURE - The Johnsons from next door went last summer and won't shut up about it. But you just watched Titanic on HBO, plus you know your wife doesn't look good in a bathing suit anymore.



SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING - Yes, our job sucks. But here's what I say: If it gets old, spice it up a bit. Sure, the men that we sniff aren't the suavest, but we keep that secret between us girls. Now don't axe us about it again.



ADAPTATION - Look, since you REFUSE to bang us because of our insufficient height, we drilled some holes at the foot of your bed. So just sit there, look pretty, and for once -- take off that damn dress.



MOMMY, LOOK!!! - I made you a wiener dog out of those funny little cotton things you keep in the bathroom! Isn't it great? Mommy? Why is your face turning red?



MILK - As agdaniele says: "It's not the only thing that does a body good."



A LITTLE ADVICE: - Eat Mor Chikin



INDIFFERENCE - The final remaining members of the Michael Vick Fan Club



VERNE TROYER - Excels at miniature golf... Has improved his short game... Doesn't have to take a knee to read the greens... Climbs out of sand traps... I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY LONG.



LAUGHTER - I'm betting you get a lot of it, especially when a new girlfriend sees you without your pants for the first time.



FIRST AND LAST - Thanks Ron! I thought about not doing todays poster but....I waffled



SORRY, SWEETHEART... -



OH, NO!!! - I don't like this part, it's too scary! Just tell me when it's safe to look, okay?



DVD NIGHT - You've got to be fucking kidding me, George! Where's the movie? I specifically said GRAIL! Why would I say... *sighs* Wow.



"FUNNY" MOUNTIES - Here, here! You oughtn't do a thing like that. It's not the Canadian way. Eh?



PROTEST? - I'm sorry, I could have sworn you said PROSTATE. (Which is precisely where Cubbybear got hit by that fish.)



NIGHTMARES - "They're the stuff that dreams are made of, plus a cold splash of reality to add a little kick." ~Anonymous~



CHILDHOOD DREAMS -



3 DOORS DOWN - Even though most of your songs sound almost EXACTLY alike, I suppose we can still refer to you as musicians. But you get some of these to go with it.



BEEF - C'mon Romeo... First, let's say "Fuck you, Tybalt" in iambic pentameter, and then let's go over there and shoot his ass! Oh, btw, why are you all dressed up?



WHERE'S BILL, YOU ASK? - Well, he kept saying he wanted me to make him a sandwich. Over and over. "Bitch, you better make me a goddamn sandwich." So, finally, I did.



OCTOBER 30, 2009 - The night Christmas came early on MotiFake. Along with every guy watching the comments section.



BACON - Dear Mrs. Lawrence, We are saddened to inform you that your son, Pvt. Leonard Lawrence, has died. It was only Day 2 of Boot Camp, but...



IMMORTALITY -



DISNEY -



FAIRY TALES REDUX -



THANKS, SEAN!!! - I always wondered where canadian bacon came from.



YEE-HAW!!! - Giddyup, little wiener-doggie! Hah! Time to round up all the tiny livestock! Ride 'em, crabboy!



PHARMACEUTICALS -



ANNAPOLIS - "A certain kind of pirate, yeah, we've been called that."



ROYALE-TEA - You know what they call the drink that comes with a Quarter Pounder meal in France?



HEY JULIE - After we finish watering the grass, will you and Heather come over here and help me sound out this word?



CUBBY'S VACATION - DAY 57 -



SMOKIE VS MISS GINGER - There's a thin line between love and hate, which is why this will end the same way all good catfights should: with hot pussy-on-pussy action!



INVENTION PIRACY - Elder God Douchebag is extremely paranoid about it. And you would be too, if all your tchnological breakthroughs were easily assembled using Duplo blocks and Fisher-Price toys.