UNEXPECTED WEALTH - demotivational poster
So, I opened my email this morning and I found this message sitting in my spam folder. I don’t really understand how my provider could have ever made the determination that this is spam. I mean, this is telling me I’m the designated recipient of unbelievable wealth: “YOUR DELIVERY AGENT. PHILIP DURU HAS ARRIVE WITH YOUR CONSIGNMENT.CALL HIM NOW (574-307-4003 firstname.lastname@example.org YOUR PAYMENT OF $15.7M IN CBN IS UNCLAIMED. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS TREATHEN TO CONFISCATE THE FUNDS, BUT AS THE GOVERNOR OF CBN, I DECIDED TO RELEASE THE FUNDS TO YOU IN CASH PAYMENT THROUGH DELIVERY AGENT TO DELIVER TO YOUR RESIDENCE .YOUR DELIVERY AGENT BY NAME AGENT.PHILIP DURU HAS ARRIVED WITH YOUR CASH CONSIGNMENT BOX VALUE $15.7M IN USA AND HE IS NOW ON TRANSIT AT INDIANAPOLIS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, INDIANA U.S THANKS, MALAM SANUSI LAMIDO CBN GOVERNOR.” Anyway, I called Mr. Duru. The connection was bad and he kept shouting about, “damned birds”, but he assured me (I think, because he really doesn’t speak English very well), that all I had to do was provide him with my banking information, my Social Security number, my mailing address, my DOB, my next-of-kin, my blood type, all my online passwords, my grandmother’s uncle’s brother-in-law’s middle name, and two of my credit card numbers and he’d direct deposit my money. I was a little suspicious. I mean, why would he need Great Great Uncle Andrew’s brother-in-law’s middle name? So I asked him what CBN was, just to be sure. He said it was his country, of course. Silly me! And he knows the governor!
HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE? - demotivational poster
HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE? Seriously. Very seriously
Retirement - demotivational poster
At some point, even a bloated windbag full of hot air eventually loses steam.
True Love - demotivational poster
Is when she has your murder and her defence all planned out. You both know she could pull it off. And get away with it. But you can still make her angry and go to bed together knowing you will wake up in the morning.
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